Your Mental Health is not Linear.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 50.

And several different data sources suggest that a major reason for this rate being so high in men is due to a ‘communication gap,’ with the rationale being that men are less likely to communicate their struggles.

I believe a big contributing factor is the belief that mental health is tied directly to circumstances, that your emotional state should neatly match how “good” or “bad” your life looks.

Society reinforces this idea, yet evidence shows otherwise: people who appear to “have it all” still suffer deeply, and sometimes tragically.

The problem is that this doesn’t make sense on the surface, so people don’t talk about it. Especially men.

We convince ourselves our feelings aren’t valid unless our circumstances are “bad enough.” And so we stay silent.

I only realised this truth because of an extreme circumstance:

In 2018, I had cancer. It sucked. But thanks to the incredible NHS, I recovered.

Not long after, I got a new boss… and without going into details, they were bad, 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝗕𝗔𝗗.

Strangely, I found myself more depressed in that situation than I had been facing a potentially life-threatening disease.

Which I know makes no sense.

But that’s how I felt.

And you can’t control how you feel.

Looking back, I see it as a gift. Because it taught me this truth: your mental health is not linear.

Just because your circumstances don’t “seem that bad” doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real.

And here’s the danger: when we believe they should be linear, we convince ourselves we don’t have the “right” to feel bad, and so we don’t talk.

We bottle it up.

And for too many men, that silence is fatal.

That’s why recognising your emotions, without minimising or suppressing them, is so important.

Because only then can you take the steps that help you feel better.

So the next time you’re feeling low, remember: your emotions don’t need to be justified by your circumstances. They are real, valid, and deserving of your care.

Sometimes all you need is four words: “Fancy a pint, mate?”

Be kind to yourself, friends.

🫶